I either fortunately or unfortunately turn eighteen in about nine months. This means that at that point I'll be legally able to move out. But financially unable to, so I'm not sure if I could get legal help at that point or what.
I guess I'm asking on a whim. Probably because I don't feel that I'm important enough to consider and also because why would I turn to an art site for serious resources?
I really have nowhere else to turn. What I have is a locked room and a laptop right now, and I'm too afraid to leave my room. My phone is downstairs. Don't know what I'm gonna do when I run out of the food I have up here. Just half a box of cookies and some rice that I was eating earlier. I've been really craving fried pickles all day. Guess I'm not getting anything but cookies and rice.
My biomom's going to eventually ask me to come out. Whether it's "politely," pretending as if nothing ever happened, or "politely" asking me to come out and explain why I'm so autistic and lazy and why I had a meltdown as if it's my fault - because it is my fault for reacting appropriately to her behavior and therefore making her "feel like a dog" because she "tries so hard." Or maybe she'll come back screaming and beating my door again, trying to tear it down so she can force me to do things I have clearly said "no" to.
I don't know what to do. I've considered sneaking out for either my phone or some pills or maybe sneaking out completely, but I just have this paranoid fear that what if she didn't actually go to bed and is waiting outside my door to kill the both of us?
If anyone has any resources, you might save my life, I dunno. But if you don't, that's cool to. We can only do what we can do - something my mother believes only applies to her to justify the way she treats me. Preferably resources that are trans-safe, non-binary-safe, and autistic-safe.