APH: Writing practice with a meme

A little note: This was originally one of those situation meme's that place randomly chosen characters into crazy situations. Most people fill them out in non-literate rp style, but I decided to challenge myself and try to write the answers as more serious ficlets. More serious in style, not content. I thought it would be a nice practice. Anyway, this is only the first few questions. I plan on answering more, but I might not finish it completely. I would like to find the original meme, so I will look that up so I can credit them and possibly link the creator to this if they ask for it. If anyone can find it before I get off my lazy butt and find it myself, please link me to it! XD
Anyway, hope you enjoy~!

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1. Guess what—England is going to marry America in a marriage arranged by Italy. How would this end up like?

Thinking about his upcoming plans, America could already feel his heart beat faster. He and Italy were standing in the jewelry section of an odd, fancy pawn shop, recieving odd glances from the dolled up women browsing through the antique diamonds and gold. He hadn't expected Italy to be so serious about helping him out, so he had simply thrown on the first T-shirt and pair of jeans he saw.
"Thanks for comin' with me, man."
"Ve~ It's no problem! I really owe you one after WWII."
America immediately glued himself to the jewelry displays and began to search for the perfect ring. He didn't notice Italy's skipping around the store. Frustrated with the lack of selection, he pulled his vision from the bands and looked back up at Italy, who had skidded to a halt in front of him.
"Nothing" he muttered defeatedly.
"Oh, cheer up America! You just have to be creative!" Italy took America's hand and led him, bouncing through the store again. "Why does it have to be a ring? Could you get him an engagement bracelet?" he chirped, pointing to the object in question, "Or an engagment tiara? Ooh! How about an engagement Revolutionary War musket?"
"No, no, and heck no. Please don't tell me you're planning the wedding to be as crazy as the proposal."
"Of course not! It's going to be a nice, traditional wedding with pasta cake with tomato icing, and Luigi is going to be the preachy wedding guy, and for the after party, we're going to release chickens onto the dance floor for the guests to dance with!"
America blinked. "Actually, an engagement Revolutionary War musket doesn't sound bad..."


2. Austria decides to crash it. Reaction?

The loud, terrified shrieking of a chicken rang throughout the room.
"Oh my gosh, I'm so so sorry!" America exclaimed as the hen hurriedly escaped the dancers' feet to the other side of the room. He re-postioned himself to hold England in his arms correctly for a slow dance.
England glared at him, "I hate you."
"I'm sorry, bro! I told you, it's not my..."
The front door slammed open. Austria stood in th doorway, staring them down. "You!" He threw an angry, pointed finger in America's direction, "You hired some mediocre pianist to play for your first dance! I will have you know that I have much much more taste in music than you could ever hope to have, so you should just trust me when I say that your pianist's fingers bang on the keys like a moose bangs on a... nevermind.. and studies have proven that... and... and..."
England rolled his eyes, "What is that man babbling about now?"
But America got defensive, "Hey! Not cool! For the last time, I didn't even plan this par..."
"Well, it's too late now!" Austria exclaimed, "For I have brought revenge!" With that outburst, he hurriedly struggled to drag a giant cage into the room then opened the door, unleashing another group of chickens onto the poor guests.
"It's a bit too late for that..." America motioned to the first group of birds that had dominated the dance floor thanks to Italy's planning.
Austria stood for a moment with a growing expression of utter disgust before stomping his way through a pile of feathers to the grand piano in the corner. He shoved the pianist off the bench and onto a crowd of hens that carried her away. "Need my Chopin..." he grumbled, taking his place in front of the instrument.


3. Hungary finds out that he/she is of the opposite gender. How does two react?

After a future war begun over a lack of resources, Hungary gains a new piece of land full of useful resources to her people. We could say that this new land was quite vital to her. Upon waking the morning after the bloody war, she takes a trip to the bathroom, does her makeup first thing, to make sure her boyfriend doesn't see her without it, then does her business. Afterwards, he has been reminded of his new land, and he looks in the mirror at his dolled up, girly makeup, still framed by long, golden locks of hair. He smiles to himself upon making a very mischievious decision. He opens the bathroom closet.
"Hello there, little Camron." he chirps, grabbing his secret camera from out of its hiding place, "Me and Austria are going to make out today!" He pulls the camera close in his arms. "Of course you get to watch, little Camron!"


4. Prussia and Germany suddenly get turned into pastries. What pastries are they and what happens?

Prussia wasn't sure how he had gotten there, but he liked it. He remembered that Austria had invited him, Germany, and a few others for dinner and had been cooking and baking in the kitchen. However, he was now on a wooden platform, and in front of him was a giant Kaiserschmarrn that was just a little taller than him. Oh, he was not going to share. Allowing himself to drown in the scent of freshly made pancakes, he approached the dessert, also noticing that it felt a bit odd to walk. Prussia took a moment to observe the beauty of it; it's raisins alone were as big as cats, it had apple slices that were still hot enough to be steaming, and it was completely covered in an ocean of powdered sugar. After praying thanks to Old Fritz, he leaned forward and took a generous bite only to have the pastry screech out in pain and leave a ringing in his ears. With the same volume and a familiar voice, the Kaiserschmarrn yelped, "BRUDER!!!"
The poor dessert was clearly in an unimaginable amount of pain as it exclaimed, "I... I TOLD YOU! STOP FLIRTING WITH EVERYONE!!! I... I... I TOLD YOU YOU WOULD BITE SOMEONE'S EAR OFF SOMEDAY!!" It began to spin around until its uneaten side faced Prussia. Then it fell silent for a moment.
The dessert spoke again, "Giant Kaiserschmarrn?"
Prussia eyed it carefully, "West?"
Then the dessert screeched again, "AUSTRIAAA!!! YOUR FOOD IST SPEAKING TO ME!!!"